{"id":21573,"date":"2019-07-13T22:31:28","date_gmt":"2019-07-14T02:31:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/flightsafetynet.com\/?p=21573"},"modified":"2019-10-16T14:58:50","modified_gmt":"2019-10-16T18:58:50","slug":"ambulance-induced-divorce-syndrome-aids-10-warning-signs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/flightsafetynet.com\/ambulance-induced-divorce-syndrome-aids-10-warning-signs\/","title":{"rendered":"Ambulance Induced Divorce Syndrome (AIDS) – 10 Warning Signs"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u2014 And How To Keep It From Ruining Your Life<\/span><\/h2>\n

Sometimes really smart people<\/p>\n

do really dumb stuff.<\/p>\n

If you work EMS or air medical,<\/p>\n

this isn\u2019t news.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

In fact, it\u2019s common.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s one reason you\u2019re so busy, right?<\/p>\n

Someone who normally makes smart decisions, makes a dumb one.<\/p>\n

And now EMS and air medical are needed, STAT!<\/p>\n

But what happens when EMS and air medical make bad decisions?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

And let me be clear. I\u2019m not talking about patient care. EMS and air medical professionals have patient care locked down. They almost never fail taking care of others.<\/p>\n

What I\u2019m talking about is something more difficult. Much more difficult.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m talking about EMS and air medical taking care of themselves.<\/p>\n

Sadly, EMS and air medical professionals fail to take care of themselves almost as often as smart people make dumb decisions.<\/p>\n

It happens. A lot.<\/p>\n

For years I watched nurses, medics, and EMTs use up so much of themselves helping others, it seemed there was nothing left to take care of themselves.<\/p>\n

The irony of lifesavers, I suppose.<\/p>\n

“EMTs, nurses, paramedics and pilots put so much of themselves into saving lives, they unknowingly destroy their own lives in the process.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It\u2019s a sickness.<\/p>\n

A sickness I call Ambulance Induced Divorce Syndrome (AIDS), although it could just as easily be called Aviation Induced Divorce Syndrome for the air medical lifesavers.<\/p>\n

What is Ambulance Induced Divorce Syndrome?<\/p>\n

Ambulance Induced Divorce Syndrome is a \u201cdisease\u201d that causes EMTs, medics, nurses and pilots to lose what they love most in life.<\/p>\n

AIDS wrecks marriages. AIDS destroys families. AIDS is the source of immeasurable pain and suffering.<\/p>\n

What causes AIDS? And is there a cure?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Ambulance or Aviation Induced Divorce Syndrome is caused by misplaced priorities.<\/p>\n

AIDS is what happens when EMS and aviation professionals identify so strongly with their work, they forget about the rest of their lives. They forget about what really matters. They forget about their spouses, their kids, and the people who love them.<\/p>\n

They fool themselves into believing success as a medic, nurse or EMS pilot is somehow more important, or just as important, as success as a husband, brother, father, wife, sister, or mother.<\/p>\n

How do I know?<\/p>\n

I had the sickness. Bad.<\/p>\n

I had AIDS for years.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

I was a workaholic who picked up every extra shift. I routinely re-arranged my family life for my work schedule, and thought nothing of it. It was easy to rationalize and easy to do.<\/p>\n

After all, America rewards strong work ethic. Hard work, determination and grit are what built our country, right?<\/p>\n

All good. Except that\u2019s not the kind of work I\u2019m talking about. I\u2019m talking about intentionally putting your work before your family.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m talking about how medics, nurses and pilots use strong work ethic to rationalize their never at home, absentee husband, father, mother, sister (you get the idea) behavior.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m talking about working extra EMS shifts because you identify more with EMS than your own family.<\/p>\n

Sounds harsh. I know.<\/p>\n

Think I\u2019m kidding?<\/p>\n

Think it can\u2019t happen to you?<\/p>\n

Think again.<\/p>\n

Who Gets AIDS<\/span><\/h2>\n

Who can get AIDS and are you at risk?<\/p>\n

Reality is anyone can fall victim to AIDS. Putting work before family isn\u2019t unique to EMS and air medical. But EMS and air medical professionals are (in my opinion) at greater risk.<\/p>\n

Why?<\/p>\n

The demands of shift work is one reason.<\/p>\n

Emotional investment in the job is a second reason.<\/p>\n

EMS and air medical are highly personal careers by nature.<\/p>\n

EMS work takes its toll. Nobody is immune.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s impossible to avoid emotional connections to the work. In fact, if you\u2019re not emotionally connected to the work, you\u2019re probably not doing it very well, right?<\/p>\n

Note that I\u2019m not talking about display of emotion. EMS and air medical are stoic warriors when it comes to public displays of emotion. But no doubt about it, they\u2019re still feeling it on the inside.<\/p>\n

Warning Signs of AIDS<\/span><\/h2>\n

Here are 10 warning signs of Ambulance Induced Divorce Syndrome<\/p>\n

#1 You Put Work Ahead of Family<\/span><\/h3>\n

Have you ever picked up an extra shift to skip out on a family event?<\/p>\n

It\u2019s okay to be the \u201cgo-to\u201d gal or guy at your EMS station or air medical base. But remember, respect goes both ways.<\/p>\n

You should not be expected to pick up every open shift.<\/p>\n

And if you can\u2019t work a shift because of prior family commitments, you absolutely should be able to say \u201cno\u201d without fear of punishment or retribution. Sometimes the answer is no.<\/p>\n

If on the other hand, you\u2019re the one scheduling shifts over family events\u2026<\/p>\n

Well, here\u2019s your sign.<\/p>\n

#2 You\u2019re Too Tired From Work To Spend Time With Family<\/span><\/h3>\n

Does a big portion of your family time consist of you laying on the couch trying to regain lost energy?<\/p>\n

Is your main focus getting ready for your next shift?<\/p>\n

If so, it\u2019s probably a sign you\u2019re working too much. It’s definitely a sign you’re not really spending family time with your family. You’re not really ever “in the moment” with them.<\/p>\n

You’re either at work or consumed by getting ready to go back to work. Neither is family time.<\/p>\n

What good is family time if all you do is sleep through it?<\/p>\n

#3 Your Spouse is Your New Career Therapist<\/span><\/h3>\n

Everyone talks about work with their spouses. It\u2019s healthy, it\u2019s normal and there\u2019s nothing wrong with it…<\/p>\n

Until\u2026<\/p>\n

Your primary reason for talking with your spouse is to vent about work or get more advice about how to handle a situation at work.<\/p>\n

Your spouse is not your career therapist.<\/p>\n

If he or she starts to feel this way, here\u2019s your sign.<\/p>\n

How can you tell if your spouse feels this way? Ask them directly or look for signs like eye-rolling or dread the next time you start to talk about work. Spending time together should be joyful, not a chore.<\/p>\n

#4 Work Is All You Talk About With Your Spouse<\/span><\/h3>\n

Like I mentioned in #3, it\u2019s okay to talk with your spouse about work. We all spend so much time working, that work is a natural topic of conversation.<\/p>\n

The problems start when work is the only topic of conversation.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s more depth to you than your last case, call or flight. There\u2019s more to your life than being a good medic.<\/p>\n

Realize it. Appreciate it. Don\u2019t forget it.<\/p>\n

#5 You Cancel Family Events Because of Work<\/span><\/h3>\n

Have you ever canceled (or skipped) a family event for work? Here\u2019s your sign.<\/p>\n

Take a moment and really think about this. You probably take your job as a parent, spouse, friend, all the above very seriously, right?<\/p>\n

Yes, of course you do.<\/p>\n

Be honest with yourself. How much success are you having when you cancel family events to work?<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t rationalize. Be objective. It\u2019s a no-brainer.<\/p>\n

Canceling family events for work is a sure sign of AIDS.<\/p>\n

#6 You Argue More With Your Spouse<\/span><\/h3>\n

All work and no play takes a toll on EMS and air medical professionals.<\/p>\n

A common side effect is mood swings.<\/p>\n

Mood swings that can lead to increased arguments with your family.<\/p>\n

The affect on your family and spouse is often immediate. If you find yourself suddenly arguing about stuff you never used to even care about \u2014 here\u2019s your sign.<\/p>\n

#7 You Have Less Patience With Your Family<\/span><\/h3>\n

When you work long hours do you find yourself less patient with your family?<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a common warning sign of AIDS.<\/p>\n

Think back to asking your patient the same thing 10, 12 or more times. It takes patience and self-discipline to maintain your composure and calm demeanor, right?<\/p>\n

The problem is that by the time you get home and need more understanding and patience for your own children, your patience is all used up.<\/p>\n

If you feel yourself becoming less patient than normal with your own family, beware.<\/p>\n

#8 You Don\u2019t Feel Like Socializing<\/span><\/h3>\n

AIDS saps the life out of you.<\/p>\n

It destroys your energy, motivation and desire.<\/p>\n

Have you lost or are you losing your desire to socialize with other people?<\/p>\n

If so, it could be a warning sign.<\/p>\n

#9 You Realize You\u2019re Happier At Work Than Home<\/span><\/h3>\n

This is a billboard size warning sign.<\/p>\n

Or at least a warning sign that should get your immediate attention.<\/p>\n

Does it ever make sense to be happier at work than home? That\u2019s a pretty clear signal something is wrong.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s okay to love what you do. But it\u2019s not okay to love what you do more than your own family.<\/p>\n

#10 You Start Making More Sacrifices To Make Everyone Happy<\/span><\/h3>\n

Your first reaction to AIDS will likely be compensation.<\/p>\n

Many EMS and air medical professionals are \u201cgivers\u201d by nature. Almost all are type A personalities.<\/p>\n

The combination is brutal.<\/p>\n

You realize your family is getting less attention than they deserve. You compensate by making more sacrifices of your already scare time \u2014or you work more to compensate financially.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a vicious cycle and a sure warning sign.<\/p>\n

Knowing The Warning Signs Isn\u2019t Enough<\/p>\n

Changing your own behavior is hard.<\/p>\n

But the hard truth is, knowing the warning signs isn\u2019t enough.<\/p>\n

The only cure for AIDS is changing your behavior.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

It isn\u2019t easy.<\/p>\n

Habits are difficult to change.<\/p>\n

I can especially hear the protests from EMTs and medics. And with good reason.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think I ever worked with a medic (air or ground) who worked only one job. Working a handful of jobs, and back to back shifts is a way of life for most medics.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, so are some of the AIDS warning signs and consequences.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t Be A Victim<\/span><\/h2>\n

AIDS (both ambulance and aviation) is curable. The choice is yours. Don\u2019t wait until it\u2019s too late.<\/p>\n

Your family needs you. And you need your family. If all you have left after a 30 year EMS or air medical career is memories of flying and running cases, I guarantee you\u2019ll wish you had more. You\u2019ll wish you had your family.<\/p>\n

\n
\n

[divider style=”10″]<\/p>\n

Interested in learning more about how to get started as a Flight Medic, Flight Nurse or EMS Pilot?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Join our Future Flight Crew Private Facebook Group. Answer 3 simple questions to join, takes less than a minute.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CLICK THE BANNER to Sign Up:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

[arrows style=”arrow-red-11.png” align=”left”]<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

Listen to the audio version here:<\/p>\n